Originally I started this blog for my budding art business. But then it just kind of turned into a blog about my adventures in studying spirituality. So I tried to start a separate blog to write about the art I was creating, but it turns out I wasn’t interested in writing about that at all. I also discovered I didn’t like trying to make a living off of my art. Then I turned my art business, Art by Jaclyn Miriam, into Storm Media Management, and now I do all sorts of work with local music and artists. But I got so busy with the development of Storm Media that for the past ten months I’ve completely abandoned writing The ART of Life as well as creating artwork, which is kind of the core of my being. Tonight, something came over me, and I decided it was time to revisit and revive The ART of Life!
So you see how this blog post title is fitting? I clearly don’t know what I’m doing, but that’s creative living. It’s not about having a master plan for a master product and everything being entirely mapped out from nothing all the way to major success. I mean, you can drive all the way from L.A. to New York City in the dark only able to see a few feet in front of you at a time. That’s sort of what creative living is like. You have and idea, which leads to an idea, which leads to an idea, and you just keep moving, letting it slowly develop the way light ever so slowly floods the sky at dawn, replacing night with day. And the creative process repeats, because you never get it done. Ideas keep leading to better ideas, day becomes night, and then it transforms into day again.
However, the most beautiful component of this blog post title is the “…and frankly, I don’t give a damn.” part. Initially it’s extremely challenging to care very intensely, to want very intensely, to love fiercely…with open arms and palms. In other words, in the face of big dreams that stretch far outside of that which we feel we can comfortably achieve, or people we love and desperately want to call our own that seem impossible catch, to hang onto–it’s challenging to remain open. It’s challenging to love fiercely and “not give a damn” if it’s returned. It’s challenging to love without conditions. And yet, it’s the only way we can receive what we want. To love and inch towards our desires, through the darkness with faith that we will make it to their manifestation, without grasping, gripping, and suffocating them into nonexistence with our doubts and other negative thoughts.
That’s why I’m writing this post. To remind myself that life is supposed to be fun. The journey is supposed to fun. My purpose is joy. And when I don’t screw up and let negative energy gain momentum in my mind, I have pretty good days. But the occasional emotional face-plant only serves to strengthen my desire to live joyfully, as well as my ability to do so with less faltering. The pathway of joy is the pathway to allowing. It’s not get what you want, and then be happy. It’s figure out how to think your way to happy, and receive your heart’s desires. And get even more happy!
That said, my epiphany tonight was, hey, now that I’ve got my ever evolving Storm Media business, I think it’s time to revisit creating art, but for FUN this time. And I can return to writing whatever I want to write about, for FUN, in The ART of Life. And holy cow! I completely forgot I have an abandoned Etsy store! Maybe I can revamp the store, take the art I’m making just for fun, and sell it on there! And I bet I sell 1000 times more of it, because I’m not stressed out about creating it to try to make money, and I’m not stressed out about getting it sold, because I don’t have to sell it to survive.
So I’m really excited about my new blunderings down this heavily wooded, thick, unruly trek through the wilderness that is my curiosity. It’s like chasing a butterfly through the dense unknown into some magical place just over the hill. But the real magic is in discovering your own power to manifest not only the path to that magical place just over the hill, but to its entire creation as well.
Tonight I posted a new profile picture on my Facebook page with a message. I don’t usually say anything about my profile pictures, but tonight, I decided to. This is it:
“I’ve come a long way in the past year. My hair is always at least little bit of a mess, my makeup consists of mascara and mineral powder only, my wardrobe is quickly becoming dominated by pearls snaps, flannels, and yoga pants…and I love it. I’m still figuring out who I am…but I’m enjoying releasing myself to love what I love without roadblocks. Without thinking about what other people think, whether it’s an outfit, a job, another person, or myself. Why do we question the things we love? Just love and do what brings you joy.”
Well, it then inspired me to write this post. I’ve had three very long relationships. Two back to back. Then a little less than a year in between relationship number two and relationship number three. I’ve always been uncomfortable enough being alone in my own skin to not allow myself to fully be myself. For everything I’ve ever wanted, there has always been resistance in some form or another keeping me from it. Resistance in the form of my own thoughts, and other people’s thoughts. Being in a relationship makes it easy to make excuses for why you’re not doing the things you’ve always wanted to do. It can distract you from your deepest desires and numb you to your calling. You can, without realizing it, subconsciously be altering yourself to please your mate and wake up one day unable to recognize who you are. But the thing about a burning desire is that it never goes out and it’ll burn everything down if you don’t succumb to it eventually!
Living alone brings you face to face with yourself. When everything in your life is your decision alone, you can’t hide from your role as the creator of your own life. These days I’m asking myself, what do I really, really want? Then I’m asking myself, what am I doing about it? And I’m asking myself, not who am I…but who do I want to be?
I’ve been living alone for over a year now. I don’t think I’ll lose my footing again. I’m too grounded in pursuing what I love and reveling in the continued exploration. I’m happy here. Every experience seems to have this heightened intensity to it. I’m just trying to pay attention to what brings me joy and what makes me feel love. I think sometimes everything is moving so fast that we get so busy doing what needs to be done that we forget to ask, what’s the point? Is it bringing me joy? Is this where I want to be? Is this what I want to be doing right now?
Life should be enjoyed. On purpose. Just ask my dog, Lewiki 🙂
It’s 12:30 a.m. on September 8th, 2015 and there is absolutely no reason I should be wide awake right now, but here I am. It’s storming outside. Lightening, thunder, torrential downpour, the works. I’ve spent the past nearly three weeks moving, and today spent the whole day making a mass exodus from my home of the past four years. Every part of my body aches and I came home to my new apartment tonight to shower, eat, and crash so I could get up and do it all over again tomorrow (before work no less), but I’m still awake. The call to write something has taken over me.
Actually the call to create a new life keeps calling, calling, calling, and I’ve been struggling desperately to keep up with my own expansion. It’s why I haven’t written much in any of my blogs. I’ve just been overwhelmed by all of life for the past year, really. I think that’s the best word to describe it. Wholly overwhelmed for a full year. And that is why I’m moving from a house in the suburbs to an apartment downtown. It’s why I’ve gone from caring for three dogs to one. I’m downsizing and simplifying. I’m selling things off and giving things away. I need to create space and time in my life. Time to write. Time to create art. Time to slow down for a minute.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a doer. I’ll always be busy, busy, busy. I just want to be busy, busy, busy doing ALL that I LOVE. Not busy, busy, busy working in order to try to make enough money in order to pay bills or make the simplest of purchases and maybe squeeze in a little time for pursuit of what is calling me. I’ve been asking for this all my life, but I feel like now I’m finally ready to receive it. I’m dreaming of making a living creating art and working with bands and solo artists. I’m dreaming of being entirely self-employed and working from my apartment as well as out on the road traveling with bands. I want THAT.
We should all listen for and answer the call of our own soul. There isn’t a moment that goes by in which we aren’t receiving guidance. It’s called feeling. We all feel. We can feel what feels right and we can feel what feels wrong. We can even feel each thought as we think it, because thoughts all create their own waves of emotion. Furthermore, we can choose to change how we think, and we should make a change if the thoughts we are thinking don’t feel good. Because if the thoughts we are thinking don’t feel good, guess what. That’s our own built in GPS system telling us we’ve gone off course and need to reroute, or rethink.
Einstein said imagination is more important than knowledge. I think this is true, because inspiration sets off imagination and inspiration is the key to deliberate creation. Inspiration: being in spirit. Being one with your soul. And in order to be one with your soul, you have to feel good first, and you have to figure out how to make yourself feel good and live in that space more often than not. Learning how to feel good no matter what is the key that unlocks every door you’ve ever wanted to open. So I say yes, imagination is more important than knowledge. But I say understanding and mastering emotion is most important, because it is through emotion that all manifestation occurs.
That said, I’ve finished my beer and I’m going to go to sleep to the sound of my dog’s breathing, curled up in bed next to me, and the rain.
If you want to find your soulmate, mate with your own soul.
Fall in love with your own soul.
That is the only love relationship you should be cultivating, because it determines everything present and future in your life. If you’re truly loving yourself, knowing yourself, sleep/eat/breathing what you love—then your life is JOY-filled, because you’re creating and attracting into your life things that match a love that comes from the soul.
I’m on a journey of discovering myself. I have a history of losing who I am in relationships, and I can stay that way for a long, long time. However, there always comes a time when I can’t do it anymore, when desires I’ve unwittingly suppressed explode to the surface, destroying life as I once knew it. Then on I go, navigating the molten ash of my life ever so carefully on my way through brokenness to a forming a new kind of whole.
I’m mating with my own soul. Courting my own soul. Focused on discovering all that brings me fun and joy.
Even in my art business, I have catered to others. But now I’m being very picky, asking myself what do I want to create? Not what do I think I should create in order to make X amount of money. No, I’m not creating something I don’t feel joyous about creating. I’m not going to paint when I don’t want to. If I’m not ready for a show, I’m NOT doing it. I’m letting love rule my life.
I want to become 100% self-employed. But I want to do it because I’m IN LOVE with my work. So this is also important to me now. I want to let go of everything, all thoughts, all expectations, all ideas about what my life should look like….and just fall in love with my work. Just fall in love with painting. Fall in love with wood work. Fall in love with making mosaics. I want to follow my love for my work into self-employment, without knowing what that will look like or how it will take shape.
I feel motivated now, but from a very different place. From the core of my being, I feel called towards things I love, and this great leap of joy in my heart as I answer that call.
DREAMING OUT LOUD
I don’t know how my art business will look, but I know how I want it to feel. I want to wake up each day, self-employed, feeling sooooo good. I want to ease into morning, reveling in the sunrise with cup of coffee in hand. Yoga, hiking, biking, kayaking…there will be an abundance of outdoor healthy activities sprinkled throughout many days of the week. But no matter how my morning goes, I want to ease into my work, letting my creative mind slow burn, gradually gathering momentum and lose myself in the fun and joy of it all, so much so I could miss lunch and not even know. I love when my creative work takes me to this place of oneness with Source where I get lost in it. But I’m SO productive, creating so much, it seems almost unreal that I could churn out so much amazing artwork at such an incredible rate. That’s the synchronistic power of co-creating with Source!
Some days in my self-employment will be dedicated to my horsemanship journey, expanding my knowledge of natural horsemanship through love and play. Parts of some days will be about learning guitar so I can one day write music like I write poetry. I want to be a songwriter and write for others, I feel that love calling, calling, calling. I have no desire to be a performer, but I have a deep desire to write music and lyrics for others.
Some days in my self-employment will involve travel. Travel is HUGELY important to me as I want to see the world, I love other cultures and have a deep desire to be fluent in several languages, first and foremost French, Spanish, and Italian.
Most days in my self-employment will involve work with musicians via social media management, booking dates, or any other wide variety of band management duties. It’s a labor of love! I want to help the bands I’m working with rise up and be heard far and wide. I want to play a key role in elevating these amazing people, hopefully bringing them the freedom to play music full time, do what they love, love what they do, and hopefully through that abundance bring greater financial abundance to us all as well!
So there will be much work to do, but there will be so much love that extended hours of work won’t be mentally/emotionally/physically draining. Instead, there will be a deep satisfaction in exhausting oneself in labors of love. The satisfaction that comes from the sense of creating something with purpose, feeling myself being a part of something bigger than me! A feeling of awe and wonder that is only compounded when working on these things as part of a team with others, like my fellow creative musician friends.
THINKING OUT LOUD
So I started this blog to really write more about finding one’s soulmate. But being the good student of Abraham-Hicks that I am, I took that concept of mating with my own soul into a rampage of creating a life I love. It makes perfect sense. Mate with your own soul first, and on that journey, you will discover your soulmate. Soulmate friends, soulmate lovers, or a soulmate for life. But if you meet someone before you’ve really done the work of mating with your own soul, you will only find a match to where you are at that place and time. You don’t want to meet your soulmate before you are ready or before he or she are ready. You want to meet your soulmate once you’re both aligned with Source. That’s when the magic happens. And I’m just not willing to settle for anything less than magic, so let the journey to loving myself and my life more fully continue to unfold and I will be just as happy as can be living out that unfolding!
And I’m wishing the same for you. Happy self-loving your way to happily ever after!
There is one thing I live for…the powerful, overwhelming feeling of LOVE and JOY. I live for that and I follow it where it leads me. I’m creating my life from this place, because this is what we are made for. This is why we’re here. This is why Earth exists.
Art of Allowing is the art of putting yourself into a place where you can be the perceiver of the demonstration of manifestation of all that you’ve been asking for. Oh, it’s nice to dream. It’s nice to dream. It’s nice to imagine. It’s nice to script. It’s nice to feel, but when you have decided, and when you’ve practiced your vibrations, and when you have put them into a place, and when you’ve held them consistently enough there then that the universe can demonstrate to you in a way that is surprising, in a way that feels magical, in a way that is more, in a way that is bigger…you see what we’re at?
It’s almost as if our work with you has backfired in this sense: that we take large numbers of people from a place of being unhappy about what they are not yet able to demonstrate, and we teach them that it’s not about the things, it’s about the emotion Because we know that once you accomplish the emotion and practice it, that when you relax, the things will demonstrate themselves in response to the emotion. And we want you to know that if the things aren’t demonstrating, the emotion isn’t where you think it is. That’s really what we’re saying. There are two ways to know that you’ve nailed this. One is by the way you feel, that’s pre-paving manifestation, the other is manifestation, that is post manifestation. So let the universe yield it to you, don’t deliberately hold yourself back. There is a reason that you are deliberately holding yourself back. It’s because you’re self-conscious of the mesurements that others are making. That’s what that’s all about you se?. When you really don’t care what anyone else’s point of view is, and it’s just you and the universe, the universe demonstrating through you the perfection of what you have deliberately decided, expected, and maintained vibrationally, then you’re invincible! Then you know there’s nothing you cannot be or do or have.
You don’t do it for the accolades from others, you do it because the manifestation of what you put into your vortex is the ultimate of what deliberate creation is! To have moved through life and to have wanted it before you even really knew you wanted it, and allow yourself to want it, and to not suffer over the not having of something that you’ve wanted, and then to rest in the vibration of what you don’t have by having the emotion of it, and then maintaining that long enough that it comes full circle into full fruition and then you start again, OH! That is a rhythm, that is a demonstrable rhythm, that’s the reason that you are in this physical body. To demonstrate, to manifest the fullness, to let Source manifest fully through you, what do you think this earth is all about!? Don’t you understand that this earth is demonstration of Source creation?? But you assign that to someone else, you assign that to Source, or to God, you don’t realize that YOU are Creator, see? So let the fun begin.
–Abraham-Hicks 2015
At this stage in my life, I am focusing on my awareness of what I’m feeling in response to all things in life. With awareness of what I’m feeling comes choice. Is this a feeling I want to feed or starve? If I’m feeling something that doesn’t feel good, why? What are my emotions telling me about what’s happening in my life? What is my body telling me about what is happening in my life? And how do I want to feel instead?
And so it is. I am ready now. I’m ready to create from the core of who I am. And I’m doing so by seeking to feel the emotion of having everything I want. If I keep reaching for it, I’ll find it. Once I find it, I can start living in it. And once I start living in that emotional space, it will manifest right before my eyes, right out of the great blue sky.
This is where you begin to create deliberately. These are the building blocks for the life of your dreams. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? I think sometimes we get so busy in life that we completely forget our power and don’t even ask ourselves what we really want.
Sometimes that’s the hardest part. And how do you get something you really, really want when you don’t know how. How do you find the emotion of having what you want when you don’t know what it will feel like? IMAGINE. Einstein said imagination is even more important than knowledge, and that is because you create by imagining it first. So let yourself dream. Reach for what it feels like to live your dreams by imagining, but imagine with your heart and soul. Imagine feeling all the ways you want to feel having realized your dreams.
Becoming a deliberate creator takes practice. It takes a lot of want to in order to keep returning to your emotional floors and walls and really looking at the thoughts that built them. The answers are always right there, you just have to tune yourself to the frequency of love/joy/peace in order to receive them.
Once you know where are, how do you tune your emotions up the vibrational stations? One thought at a time. Reach for a better feeling thought in the direction of how you want to feel, and keep reaching until you find one that does feel better. Then reach for another. It’s like climbing a ladder. The more rungs you climb, the more momentum you build, and that’s what you want to do. Build positive momentum in your life.
This is the art of creating. It all happens through vibration and once you take control of how you feel, you’ve taken control of your vibrational output. Once you have control of your vibrational output, the world is your oyster, and you will be able to masterfully create whatever you desire in life, just like magic.
Photo Credits: All photos were pulled from a Google Image Search for Black and White Photography.
Everything is gathering momentum. You’ve just got to decide if what’s central in you right here and now is a good feeling thing that’s gathering momentum or whether it’s not a good feeling thing that’s gathering momentum.
Since you’ve already decided what you want, the opportunity, the probability, the certainty of it is never-endingly unfolding. There are constantly 30 or 40 or 50 viable avenues in your immediate vicinity that could be absolutely, accurately called ‘on your path factors’ that most humans are oblivious to because they’ve got a frequency going on that keeps them from realizing it even though it’s right there.
That’s why it’s only this vibrational shift in you that is necessary…
-Abraham-Hicks
Just LOVE this place. I get this magical feeling every time I see Blanca Peak.
So how do we turn our wantings, our desires, from vibrational things into being?
You have to do it vibrationally, then you will be the realizer of it into what is tangible. It’s about you rendezvousing, it’s like you sensing the path, you feeling the path, you knowing the path, you being able to see it, it’s all around you, you’re just not seeing it sometimes, because you’re on a different frequency.
-Abraham-Hicks
So here I am, wanting so many things, feeling so many things, feeling restless, hearing the words of Abraham through Esther’s voice, “You are knowing what you are wanting?”…Am I? As I sit here in my recliner, with a mess all around from being an artist, living with three dogs, and being a bartender (it’s Monday, which means I just worked three crazy days in bars and am exhausted)…I ask myself, what am I wanting right now?
CLARITY.
My head has been buzzing and fuzzy from a busy weekend of tending bar and overall sensory overload from hearing the life and times and trials and tribulations of my patrons, pushing myself through it all, on little sleep, flitting from one conversation to another task, to another conversation, to another task, trying not to forget something or someone, trying to give all my attention or split all my attention appropriately, on the right people and things at the right time, with the ever present truckload of coffee I have surging through my veins keeping me going. As stereotypical as it may be, it seems I am always trading my blood for coffee or alcohol. It’s love, though.
And almost the moment I firmly decide it’s clarity I want most, an answer from my inner being comes booming through the loudspeakers in my brain. Put on some music, get lost in it, get clean and organized…and get out that damn guitar and get to work! You have so many songs to get out that can’t come out until you pick up that guitar and PLAY.
There it is.
A start at least.
Create your life like an artist.
I don’t need to know my future several months in advance. I only need enough clarity in my life to light the path in front of me for the next footfall. And I only need it just in time. And if the path isn’t lighting up for you, maybe you need to just stand still for a little while.
And that’s ok. It’s ok to stand still, in the dark, and wait for somethign to light up.
But I think it’s equally ok to be filled with much love, much wanting, much desire, much ambition and for it to be a chaotic, yet powerful force within your soul. It’s ok to feel like a volcano searching for all the right avenues in which to erupt. As an artist filled with so many creative, passionate ambitions, finding oneness with Source in each moment is so important. Every moment can be potentially black and I need that particular lantern in order to avoid potentially self-destructive moves.
So how does one deal with “too many opportunities”? (Sort of where I feel I am at now.)
If you are really centered in who you are, if you are really feeling good, there’s no such thing as too many opportunities, because you’re so in the flow, as they come, it’s like having a whole lot of dance partners whom you are up to speed with. It’s like watching the perfection of a magnificent basketball team. (Spurs…Esther is slightly addicted.) And seeing their heads up awareness of one another, their intuitive sensing of where they are in relationship to everything else, and not wanting to just stand there alone, but embracing the idea of all of those moving parts for which they are ready for, you see. When you’re not ready, you don’t want anyone throwing you the ball. Don’t throw me the ball, it could hit me in the face. Don’t throw it to me, don’t throw it to me ever. Don’t throw it to me, throw it to somebody else, I’m not ready yet.
But when you are up to speed, you’re ready, then you want to do that dance, you see. There is no such thing as too many moving parts when you’re tuned in, tapped in, turned on, because you have the foresight, you have the understanding, you have the broader perspective, you can be in the right place at the right time. So that feeling is always a feeling that comes when there is wobble in your vibration, because when there’s wobble, you’re out of balance, and when you’re out of balance, you don’t want many moving parts. -Abraham-Hicks
Two of my three puppies outside Pagosa Springs, Colorado. It’s a magical place in which I feel FOREVER in a state of awe. I lived there for a summer in 2009 and still, every day, I was awestruck by the ever changing beauty of this place.
That’s where I want to be. I love being busy and being active, but I want it to feel really good, and feel like everything I’m doing is flowing like an expertly executed dance with a lot of different partners I’m up to speed with. I have my art business. I freelance Graphic Design work. I tend bar in three different bars now. And I book music and help with marketing one of those bars. I’m also planning to go back to school for my Bachelors of Fine Art in Graphic Design (Minor in Spanish and Marketing) in May 2015. In addition to that I’m planning a huge studying abroad trip for next January through April as I’m on a mission to become fluent in Spanish and Portuguese as well as create a poetry/photography book or books of this huge life-changing journey. So yes, fluidity in a very busy, active, ambitious life coupled with the clarity of oneness with Source is my greatest focus now. I want to co-create some really incredible art through visual arts as well as music. Poetry, painting, photography, graphic design, songwriting…I want to do it all. I am doing it all. I’m dancing!
At first the manifestation is an emotional one. But right behind that comes streams of thoughts and really good ideas, really good ideas. And as those ideas begin to flow and you just go with those ideas, then what happens is, manifestations begin to happen around you. It feels like and it is exactly like you are allowing what you put into the vortex to move from the vortex into your reality. And it’s SO. MUCH. FUN. when you get to be in on every piece of it as it moves in.
We’re out here on the leading edge, on the leading edge together. So if you can stand in your now, finding this emotional place, not needing to shore it up with details, just feeling the pureness of the emotion of it…
No need to explain how you got here.
No impulse to talk about that.
Those conditions can just be left out of the equation.
NO NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT HERE. Feel the refreshment of that. You don’t have to explain it, justify it, or defend it, describe it, or make anybody else “get” it. Just let that go.
So you’re just standing here, Oh, and there’s another piece. No dog in the fight about the outcome. No needing to define where you’re going next. So in the never mind how you got here and no investment in the outcome, no investment in the outcome! If there’s no investment in the outcome, you’re not going to introduce contradiction to it.
So you already did Step 1, you already put it there, Source is already fully involved in the outcome and has orchestrated circumstances and events and rendezvous beyond our ability to describe it in a way that Esther can say it verbally. In other words we just cannot tell you how much has already been orchestrated on your behalf about the things that you want. No investment in that outcome, not your job.Step 2, not your job.
Your job, right here, right now, just feeling the love, right here, right now.
Never mind how you got here, never mind how it’s gonna unfold, just this feeling that the path is coming to you. The path is coming to you! The path is coming to you and before you’re aware of it, there’s nothing for you to do!
THAT’S THE BIG PIECE!
You don’t need to call somebody, you don’t need to write something down, you don’t need to goose it up, you don’t need to motivate yourself. Until the path is blatantly obvious, there’s nothing for you to do! Nothing for you to do. And we promise you, you won’t be bored, because the path will unfold and you’ll know, it won’t be shouldn’t I or should I, it’ll be,
“I’m going, I’m going, I’m doing, I’m in, I’m in, I’m in, I’m in, I’m in, I’m in!”
Someone will say to you, “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why are you so excited?”
“I don’t know that either.”
“Well, how do you explain how bright you look?”
“I can’t explain that either. I’ve just found this sweet spot, I found this sweet spot where I’m not invested in how I got here and I’m not invested in where I’m going because that is dynamically already orchestrated. I’m just here in an utter state of allowing.”
And in that state of being, the path shows up. You feel so brilliant, you just feel so brilliant! First you feel blessed, oh man, and then you feel brilliant, then you feel inspired, then you feel happy. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. You get in that state, you have no idea what you mean by moving parts. So many moving parts, orchestrated by the universe.
Esther laid in bed the other morning and she thought about all the things that she doesn’t have to think about. Like…almost everything: the earth spinning in its orbit in perfect proximity, don’t need to think about that, is the sun going to come up? Don’t have to think about that. Is my blood going to keep pumping today? Don’t have to think about that.
SO. MUCH. Already happening on your behalf. You could not be in better vibrational hands or state of being. It’s time for you to accept the perfection of who you are and what you’ve put into your vortex, and to stand in this place of allowing the path to show itself to you, and until it does, DON’T MOVE.
Waiting for inspiration, waiting for the compelling path to sweep beneath my feet and light up in a way that every fiber of my being feels the rightness of this path.
But before that happens, you have to chill out.
You’ve got to find the feeling of love more often.
You have to be less conditional, and that’s the part that’s a little bit tricky. If a train is going 100 miles an hour in one direction, you don’t want it to go 100 miles an hour the other direction abruptly, it’s hard on the contents of the train. You don’t want that. It doesn’t need to be that way. You already have plenty of momentum. Everything is right on track for you.
Our attention is not upon you getting to where you want to be. Our attention is upon you feeling so good on your path right here, right now, because your life is always going to be on your path right here, right now. You’re never going to be over there where you think you want to be, because your path is constantly unfolding. So when you make peace with the rightness of where you are, and your life is about “Have I prepared the vibrational atmosphere here so that I have the clarity to experience the realization?” then OH, the people who flow into your world, the conversations that you have, the leading edge going to into the new place again, another new place, and another new place, and another new place!
This conversation has never been before unto all of the universe and here you all are, many of you at your very first Abraham Workshop and you’re right up to speed with everything that we’re talking about, because you prepared the vibrational atmosphere and when the path unfolded beneath your feet, you felt the resonance of it. You did, we saw you do that. This is a really good time for segment of refreshment. -Abraham-Hicks
Even though I took this pic through the dirty windshield of my old truck, I still LOVE it for the storm clouds over the mountains.
It’s the easiest thing to do and the hardest thing to do at the same time. To let go of all expectation, to let go of needing to know and/or try to control the outcome, and to just be in a state of love. That feeling love is the only action that can bring you what you desire…it seems too simple. We’re all so trained into the concept of working hard and struggling in order to achieve. I know I am. But I’ve been practicing living in a loving state for quite some time now. Life is getting easier as a result. I wake up and focus my thoughts on appreciating the little things, like the warmth of my dogs laying next to me, my pillow (which fits my head perfectly), my home, electricity, etc. Now, I’ve noticed that when there’s a problem, half the time the solution shows up immediately after discovery of an issue, and sometimes even before! I’m not saying I’m without problems or issues. That’s hardly the case. I don’t have less problems, they just sit with me differently, because I’ve been actively, daily transforming my perspective. The perspective of love is the view from the mountaintop.
I used to live very much in fear. Always in fear. I never allowed myself to fully want what I wanted, because I was afraid of it. Now I embrace my impulses with excitement rather than excitement, then fear, then sadness. It takes practice to believe that you really can have, do, be whatever you want. There is no dream too big. There is no order of difficulty in creation. It is as easy to create a button as it is a castle. I do believe that now. I understand that.
I haven’t done anything “big” since 2009. It’s time! These pictures are from Cancún, but this was where the idea to study Spanish abroad was born back in 2012.The Mexican/American breakfast at the resort. How beautiful is that!?
So here I am now, practicing my loving state of allowing and watching, slightly in amazement, the manifestation of all the things I’ve wanted. I know the longer I stay here and the deeper this practice becomes, the better my life is going to be. I want people to look at me and be amazed at my life. I want to be a power of example for others.
But first and foremost, my ULTIMATE daily morning affirmation is, Source, co-create this moment with me. I want to see with your eyes, hear with your ears, and feel with your love. Co-create this day with me, co-create with this life with me.
My tequila-inspired selfie.
And when I am creating art, I call on all the artists who came before to co-create with me.
The world is my oyster. I am creating everything I feel inspired to create, including a 4 month studying abroad trip (Spanish and Portuguese) in 2016: Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Rio de Janeiro and Salvador, Brazil! How crazy can you dream?
I know it’s not just me here, and there is nothing more awesomely powerful than inviting Source wholly into you and feeling it. Sometimes after I do that I’ll just feel so full of love, I cry. Not in a bad way, just in a…it’s such a powerful experience that physically there has to be a release. It’s an incredible, soaring feeling when it happens. Nothing feels better than oneness with Source. I encourage everyone to reach for that.
The thing about your human experience is, you’ve come to allow what is to dictate how you feel. So you’ve let the manifestation that matters most, which is the emotion that you feel, be dictated by things you can’t control. Do you know that collectively, you are creating this world? So you share it with a lot of other people. So you cannot control what every one of them do. You can’t control what any of them do. So if your happiness is dependent on what any of them or all of them are doing, then your most important manifestation, which is how you feel, is out of control too. And that’s what you’ve come to understand.
You’ve come seeking freedom from the bondage of the resistance, which is always self-imposed.
You’ve come to understand that you can manifest joy no matter what now. No matter what now. No matter what now. And when you figure out that you can manifest joy from the power of your focus, then what happens is you become the deliberate creator that you came here to be, that you were born to be, that you still are even though you’ve forgotten. Then you become one who is in control of their vibration and when you’re in control of your vibration, you’re in control of your point of attraction. So when you’re in control of your vibration and you’re standing in vibrational alignment with all that you’ve become, then the manifestation has to shift.
And people who are watching you say, “Now that is just amazing, I’ve never ever known anyone to do that.”
And you say, “Well no one wanted it like I do. And no one was able to divert their attention from its opposite current manifestation long enough to allow the presence of what is wanted to become.”
We want you to understand creation in the way we understand it, which means you’ve got to step back and take broader view, which means you’ve got to stop being the flesh, blood, and bony person that you are, and become the vibrational being that you are, which means become the emotional being that you are, which means become the really picky emotional being that you are, which means don’t put up with anything that doesn’t make you feel good, because if it doesn’t make you feel good, you’ve got yourself pinched off from your power, and when you’re pinched off from your power, you don’t have any power, and then you don’t manifest what you want to, and then it’s just a cycle of observing what is not wanted, and documenting it. Let me tell you about my life. I’d like to tell you about what’s been happening. Maybe if I tell it to you in great detail, you will understand it clearly enough you will help me move away from it. And we say, never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. It never works that way. Document it and hold yourself there. Document it and hold yourself there. Ignore it, and you can begin to move away from it. Focus upon what is really wanted and you begin to move toward that. Pretty clear.
-Abraham-Hicks
It’s been a year or many great and tumultuous changes. They haven’t been easy. Lately I’ve been experiencing a great deal of fear in the form of job changes, trying to grow my art business, shifting from the safety of a relationship to the unknown of being alone, and in the midst of riding this roller coaster drama that is life, a tremendous amount of financial terror as I just try to find my footing while simultaneously supporting myself, three dogs, and three horses. As I wrote that, the U2 song “40” came to mind, taken from Psalm 40:
“I waited patiently for The Lord, He inclined and heard my cry, He brought me up out of the pit, Out of my reglade. I will sing, sing a new song, I will sing, sing a new song. How long to sing this song? How long to sing this song? How long, How long, How long, to sing this song? He set my feet upon a rock, and made my footsteps firm. Many will see, many will see and fear. I will sing, sing a new song. I will sing, sing a new song. I will sing, sing a new song. How long to sing this song? How long to sing this song. How long, How long, How long, How long, to sing this song?”
That’s what I want, to set my feet upon a rock and make my footsteps firm, by aligning with Source. And instead of fear, I want people to say, “Now that is amazing!” and be inspired. That’s what I want to do with this beautiful, glorious mess of myself and my life. We are all creators, but I was born an artist. Creating is like breathing to me. It’s my joy and my job. Today, I’ve done the work of pre-paving, of setting intentions for joy and abundance before I went to sleep and at the start of my day. Today I am able to follow my bliss from one moment to the next. The trick to freeing yourself from bondage is to prevent the thoughts that bind you to all the things you don’t want in the first place. The trick is to feel, to really feel, feel how your thoughts feel. And if they don’t feel good, feel for a thought that feels better. Feel your way up the ladder to better feeling, one rung at a time.
For me, I’m giving my worries to God, my Source, and just following my bliss with great FOCUS as well as great appreciation and gratitude for all that I have. And so it’s time to create, time to give life to some new works of art! I know once I take my attention away from all I fear and turn it towards all that I love, the fear vanishes. Love destroys fear.
So I haven’t watched Super Soul Sunday in seemingly forever and just happened to catch Part 2 of Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve read Eat, Pray, Love (LOVE it!) and I remember this part in the book, but it really struck me in a new way this time around. When it comes to soul mates, in the book, Elizabeth says, “People think a soul mate is a perfect fit and that’s what everyone wants, but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life, a true soul mate is the most important person that you’ll ever meet, because they’ll tear down your walls and smack you awake.”
Oprah read that quote from Eat, Pray, Love and then Elizabeth added, “But you might not want to marry them! That quote is actually from my friend Richard, from Texas, because he’d told me about someone I’d lost who I thought was my soul mate. Richard said, he probably was, but you don’t understand what a soul mate is. You think it’s all roses and happiness. A soul mate is someone who changes you. And then sometimes they have to leave, because the intensity of the relationship is so much that you can’t actually have a stable…like your partner is something else. A spouse, a husband, a partner, that’s your friend. Like my husband is my best friend, and he’s not the mirror that holds up my flaws, he’s the guy that’s like, ‘I think you’re terrific.’ And I’m like, I think you’re terrific, how can we be nice to each other today? It’s not a high tension, high vibration, it’s just a simple showing up for each other, I like having a cup of coffee in the morning with you, thank you for being my champion, love.”
I love this definition. It gives a new understanding, and clarifying importance to those relationships that came before. They were soul mates. They were very important people who came into my life for a reason, and they helped shape who I am today. And there was pain in the process, in the evolution and dissolution of these past relationships. And there was suffering. But I used it to grow. I am still growing from them. And that’s really the point.
Elizabeth says of pain and suffering, if it’s not used to grow, it’s just wasted suffering. Pain and suffering don’t make you wise. There are plenty of people out there suffering that are just as stupid as ever. Using your power, your wisdom, your mind, your force, to turn suffering into Grace, is what makes you wise. If you don’t transform from your pain, then it was for nothing!
That’s a powerful thought.
If you don’t transform from your pain, then you suffered for nothing.
Two things to ask yourself when you’re feeling pain or suffering. 1) What is this here to teach me, how can I grow from this? and 2) What was my part in creating this? Because there was one. And until you own your part in what you’ve drawn into your life, you can’t change it.
I don’t think it means a partnership has no passion–Elizabeth is just saying that life with a true partner is not loaded with drama. I believe in fire, in fierce passion, and in deep friendship too. You can have both. You should have both.
I live for fire! I live for that intense internal YES, for that powerful flood of LOVE that comes from recognizing and really going for something that’s driving me from my core, for that supercharged magnetic pull, because when I’m on fire, I’m co-creating with God, with Source, with the universe. There is nothing more delicious. I feel such an overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation for all when I’m there. And for everything. I can see the brilliance, the oneness of everything. I swear that sometimes even light and colors seem more vivid. It’s like God is giving me a taste how He sees the world. Seeing the world through the eyes of Source. This is my goal every day. To live my life on fire and full of love. To love and be kind to everyone. To demonstrate love in all that I do. And to wholeheartedly be filled with gratitude for the opportunity to create any kind of life I want, and to breathe, to see, to hear, to taste, to smell, to touch, and most of all, to FEEL my way towards constructing my dreams in this reality.
There are so many beautiful souls who have come into my life, many who have gone, and many I haven’t even met yet. I am eternally grateful for this amazing life I’ve been given and I am focused on joyfully giving and using it to the fullest! And I wish that for everyone!
Life is the most beautiful, glorious, and perfectly tangled web of divinity when we embrace it fully and unconditionally with love. As I observe this day with a sense of wonder and awe, I relax into the words of Abraham-Hicks, “You can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done. You can’t get it wrong because you’ll never get it done.” The only way to expand is to learn what you do want by experiencing what you do not want. The errors and the emotions that come with them, large and small, are there for our guidance.
It’s messy. Living is messy. Loving is messy. There’s so much contrast to wade through in life. Some of that contrast will inevitably spark powerful desires as what you really want grows in clarity. Sometimes it’s pain that brings greater clarity and sometimes it’s joy. Both are a blessing and I’ve learned to welcome both with open arms as each exist equally as my own personal GPS to the destination of my ever changing and growing bliss. So long as I use pain and negative emotions to cause me to search for what makes me feel good. It’s an exercise, a practice, a habit, that I’ve been developing over the past year. When something causes me to feel bad, instead of getting stuck in that dreary, heavy state that hurts, I use that to ask myself, “If this is what I don’t want, what do I want?” And then I begin to shift my momentum towards feeling better, one thought at a time, as I think about acquiring and having a better feeling state.
One of things that has taught me a lot of hard lessons is the power of momentum. Abraham always preaches that it only takes 17 seconds to get the momentum of a thought rolling. That’s it. So when I think about how long I can dwell in negative thoughts that spiral my emotional state downward…I can’t not realize that I’ve created negative momentum in my life. So much so that the only thing I can do is go to sleep with the intention of waking up tomorrow in a better space. Thought stops when we sleep, so each day we have the opportunity to begin anew.
So my daily intention now is to create positive momentum the second I decide to wake up for the day. Really, I set that intention before I ever go to sleep and reaffirm it when I wake. We tend to wake up wherever we left off if we don’t go to sleep with the intention to wake up in a better place. Something I try to be conscious of daily. I try to be, and I am, more conscious of what kind of momentum I’m creating each day as it unfolds. If you get positive momentum started early, as the day progresses, anything negative you may encounter throughout your day will just bounce right off of you.
We create our own reality and we do it with our thoughts. Thoughts are things, thoughts are energy, and everything that exists once began as a thought. So I have become very mindful of my thoughts and focus them towards what I want. I now am always pondering, “What do I want? What do I really, really, really want?” Once I started doing this I was baffled by how swept up in the events of my day I normally am. I felt awake, alert, like I knew what was going on. But when I would take a mental step back into my soul, observe my surroundings, and ask myself, ‘What do I want?’—I didn’t have an answer at first. I didn’t know, because I was going through the motions of my day, my mundane day, and hadn’t taken the time to even think about what I wanted in any given moment. Now I try to ask myself what I want before I get in my vehicle to go somewhere. If I’m going to the store, I say to myself, “I want a safe trip to the store and I want to find everything I need quickly with great ease,” or something to that effect. I’m practicing setting intentions for my day, both ahead of time and throughout the day. I am practicing being a deliberate creator. I am practicing creating my world as a sculptor takes a lump of clay and molds it into a masterpiece. I want the life of my dreams and nothing less! A life of realizing dreams and dreaming bigger dreams, and realizing those dreams, and dreaming even bigger dreams yet, and realizing even more than I could ever dream was possible!
It just takes practice. Life is meant to feel good. It is meant to be enjoyed. And we are meant to exercise our freedom, our free will, to create whatever our hearts so desire…again, and again, and again. We are meant to be free, to follow our bliss, and expand. As each of us follows our bliss into uncharted territories, the whole universe expands. This is what we came here for! You know those radiant feelings of joy that rush through your system? We’ve all had them at some point in our lives. Well, that’s resonance with God, our Source. It is through us that Source expands. And what a joy it is to deliberately create what we love, knowing that God is right there with us, loving it too. Co-creation at its best!
Reality is nothing more than the culmination of what has already been created, by you, or by someone else. So when you observe reality, and you say here it is, so it’s true…well it’s only true because it has been created. The question is, do you want it to be true for you? Or do you want to create a different reality? In the past I have always been very vulnerable to the thoughts, ideas, and opinions of other people. I’d let these things weigh me down, tie me up, and hold me back…for a while. And then the real me would inevitably, sometimes rather violently, revolt against what I knew was not my truth. I feel very fortunate that my mother raised me to be a strong, independent woman. I feel very fortunate to have this inextinguishable fire in me coupled with this drive to follow my heart absolutely no matter what, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, no matter how impossible it may seem, no matter how completely and totally void of logic it may seem…thank GOD I am just incapable of not following my heart. I can’t not follow it. It’s a blessing even when it seems like a curse at times.
In simple terms, the most powerful thing you can do…is APPRECIATE. Always be looking for something you can appreciate. Keep that momentum going and you will most certainly be living love. It’s all you need, because the only reason anyone wants anything is because they think they’ll feel better in the having of it. But if you can appreciate all things great and small throughout your day, every day, you will be living in that state of joy/peace/love/harmony…and once you’re there, everything you’ve ever wanted and more will come to meet you. The money. The love. The career…practice appreciation and everything you’ve ever wanted and more will find you.
It’s Spring and the brilliant green of new grass is poking up everywhere from out of the earth. Buds are swelling on trees. Blossoms are beginning to open. Even the first shoots of my wild mint are bursting out of my large pot with tiny leaves spreading out before the sun in a sort of Hallelujah. It’s been a lengthy winter and it is over. I so love spring, when everything is born again, baby calves are frolicking in pastures, and the eruption of life-giving spring thunderstorms leave me in a state of awe-inspired, renewed creativity.
Today I read this Abraham-Hicks quote:
If your desire is strong enough, it doesn’t matter what your beliefs are. If you have a desire that is strong enough, that desire will be the dominant vibration, and it will over-ride any other vibration that you have.
— AbrahamExcerpted from the workshop in Atlanta, GA on Saturday, September 13th, 1997
I’m also reading Gary Zukav’s The Seat of the Soul and today I read something that ties in with the Abraham quote, which left me pondering some questions:
Every action, thought, and feeling is motivated by an intention, and that intention is a cause that exists as one with an effect.
—Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul
If the definition of desire is “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen,” and the definition of intention is “a thing intended; an aim or plan,”…then can an intention and a desire be one and the same? Certainly desire leads to the formation of an intention. And if one’s intentions (the cause) are entirely out of love, then will the effect be positive every time? Or is every person just at the mercy of their own chosen or default perspective? Is heartbreak ever just heartbreak, or is there always a choice? I’m intrigued by the recurring theme in my “new thought” spiritual studies, that when you want multiple things, you can have it all. Can you? Is it possible to choose your joy and everyone wins if that’s your intention? As my journey here in the earth school unfolds, I seem to keep developing more questions than answers.
I do very much believe that both of the above quotes are absolutely true. When I have a strong desire for something, I cannot deny it. It is what it is, and eventually the planets will align for that desire to manifest. I can look at my life and see the evidence of this truth everywhere. It’s the Law of Attraction. I also understand that I am 100% responsible for my life and everything my life is, I’ve created. I understand cause and effect. I understand that they are inseparably linked. And I understand that my intentions are the cause that creates the effect that is my life. What I strive for is to consciously create every intention in my life out of love. It’s challenging to, first of all, stay conscious more of the time and not let emotional reactions run away with my mind, but also to pause and choose to set intentions all day long, every day, from my soul.
And to me, this is what it means to “give in to the Well-Being that surrounds you”. In an Abraham-Hicks seminar, Abraham was pleading for everyone to, “Just give in, just give in, just give in to the Well-Being that is always surrounding you!” And I want to. Doesn’t it sound delightful? It’s about the sweetness of surrender, and I want to surrender. I am throwing down my negative thoughts like a soldier casting away both sword and shield. I am throwing down my fears like a soldier shedding his or her armor. I am searching for the courage to embrace my vulnerability. Learning, growth, expansion–it’s uncomfortable at best, but the only way I can live my dreams, all I love, is by stretching outside my comfort zone and surrendering to the love and joy I will most certainly find there in new and unimaginable ways.
And I wish this for everyone.
In just a few short weeks I hope to be setting up my own booth for my art business at our big Saturday morning Farmer’s Market. I am also hoping to be in the beginning stages of starting one of my horses under saddle. And that’s only a couple of my major goals for this summer. I think I’m going to get really good at embracing the power of surrender.
Until then, I’m basking in the weather as it warms and the richness of color as it expands. New green grass, flowers in white, yellow, and purple blooming, rich blue skies and the bruised, but roaring thunderheads of spring storms…there is so much beauty to enjoy. And I’m just going to try to take it all in…
The ART of Life 