Soul Mates and Suffering

So I haven’t watched Super Soul Sunday in seemingly forever and just happened to catch Part 2 of Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve read Eat, Pray, Love (LOVE it!) and I remember this part in the book, but it really struck me in a new way this time around. When it comes to soul mates, in the book, Elizabeth says, “People think a soul mate is a perfect fit and that’s what everyone wants, but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life, a true soul mate is the most important person that you’ll ever meet, because they’ll tear down your walls and smack you awake.”

Oprah read that quote from Eat, Pray, Love and then Elizabeth added, “But you might not want to marry them! That quote is actually from my friend Richard, from Texas, because he’d told me about someone I’d lost who I thought was my soul mate. Richard said, he probably was, but you don’t understand what a soul mate is. You think it’s all roses and happiness. A soul mate is someone who changes you. And then sometimes they have to leave, because the intensity of the relationship is so much that you can’t actually have a stable…like your partner is something else. A spouse, a husband, a partner, that’s your friend. Like my husband is my best friend, and he’s not the mirror that holds up my flaws, he’s the guy that’s like, ‘I think you’re terrific.’ And I’m like, I think you’re terrific, how can we be nice to each other today? It’s not a high tension, high vibration, it’s just a simple showing up for each other, I like having a cup of coffee in the morning with you, thank you for being my champion, love.”

I love this definition. It gives a new understanding, and clarifying importance to those relationships that came before. They were soul mates. They were very important people who came into my life for a reason, and they helped shape who I am today.  And there was pain in the process, in the evolution and dissolution of these past relationships. And there was suffering. But I used it to grow. I am still growing from them. And that’s really the point.

Elizabeth says of pain and suffering, if it’s not used to grow, it’s just wasted suffering. Pain and suffering don’t make you wise. There are plenty of people out there suffering that are just as stupid as ever. Using your power, your wisdom, your mind, your force, to turn suffering into Grace, is what makes you wise. If you don’t transform from your pain, then it was for nothing!

That’s a powerful thought.

If you don’t transform from your pain, then you suffered for nothing.

Two things to ask yourself when you’re feeling pain or suffering. 1) What is this here to teach me, how can I grow from this? and 2) What was my part in creating this? Because there was one. And until you own your part in what you’ve drawn into your life, you can’t change it.

I don’t think it means a partnership has no passion–Elizabeth is just saying that life with a true partner is not loaded with drama. I believe in fire, in fierce passion, and in deep friendship too. You can have both. You should have both.

 

I live for fire! I live for that intense internal YES, for that powerful flood of LOVE that comes from recognizing and really going for something that’s driving me from my core, for that supercharged magnetic pull, because when I’m on fire, I’m co-creating with God, with Source, with the universe. There is nothing more delicious. I feel such an overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation for all when I’m there. And for everything. I can see the brilliance, the oneness of everything. I swear that sometimes even light and colors seem more vivid. It’s like God is giving me a taste how He sees the world. Seeing the world through the eyes of Source. This is my goal every day. To live my life on fire and full of love. To love and be kind to everyone. To demonstrate love in all that I do. And to wholeheartedly be filled with gratitude for the opportunity to create any kind of life I want, and to breathe, to see, to hear, to taste, to smell, to touch, and most of all, to FEEL my way towards constructing my dreams in this reality. 

There are so many beautiful souls who have come into my life, many who have gone, and many I haven’t even met yet. I am eternally grateful for this amazing life I’ve been given and I am focused on joyfully giving and using it to the fullest! And I wish that for everyone!