Soul Mates and Suffering

So I haven’t watched Super Soul Sunday in seemingly forever and just happened to catch Part 2 of Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve read Eat, Pray, Love (LOVE it!) and I remember this part in the book, but it really struck me in a new way this time around. When it comes to soul mates, in the book, Elizabeth says, “People think a soul mate is a perfect fit and that’s what everyone wants, but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life, a true soul mate is the most important person that you’ll ever meet, because they’ll tear down your walls and smack you awake.”

Oprah read that quote from Eat, Pray, Love and then Elizabeth added, “But you might not want to marry them! That quote is actually from my friend Richard, from Texas, because he’d told me about someone I’d lost who I thought was my soul mate. Richard said, he probably was, but you don’t understand what a soul mate is. You think it’s all roses and happiness. A soul mate is someone who changes you. And then sometimes they have to leave, because the intensity of the relationship is so much that you can’t actually have a stable…like your partner is something else. A spouse, a husband, a partner, that’s your friend. Like my husband is my best friend, and he’s not the mirror that holds up my flaws, he’s the guy that’s like, ‘I think you’re terrific.’ And I’m like, I think you’re terrific, how can we be nice to each other today? It’s not a high tension, high vibration, it’s just a simple showing up for each other, I like having a cup of coffee in the morning with you, thank you for being my champion, love.”

I love this definition. It gives a new understanding, and clarifying importance to those relationships that came before. They were soul mates. They were very important people who came into my life for a reason, and they helped shape who I am today.  And there was pain in the process, in the evolution and dissolution of these past relationships. And there was suffering. But I used it to grow. I am still growing from them. And that’s really the point.

Elizabeth says of pain and suffering, if it’s not used to grow, it’s just wasted suffering. Pain and suffering don’t make you wise. There are plenty of people out there suffering that are just as stupid as ever. Using your power, your wisdom, your mind, your force, to turn suffering into Grace, is what makes you wise. If you don’t transform from your pain, then it was for nothing!

That’s a powerful thought.

If you don’t transform from your pain, then you suffered for nothing.

Two things to ask yourself when you’re feeling pain or suffering. 1) What is this here to teach me, how can I grow from this? and 2) What was my part in creating this? Because there was one. And until you own your part in what you’ve drawn into your life, you can’t change it.

I don’t think it means a partnership has no passion–Elizabeth is just saying that life with a true partner is not loaded with drama. I believe in fire, in fierce passion, and in deep friendship too. You can have both. You should have both.

 

I live for fire! I live for that intense internal YES, for that powerful flood of LOVE that comes from recognizing and really going for something that’s driving me from my core, for that supercharged magnetic pull, because when I’m on fire, I’m co-creating with God, with Source, with the universe. There is nothing more delicious. I feel such an overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation for all when I’m there. And for everything. I can see the brilliance, the oneness of everything. I swear that sometimes even light and colors seem more vivid. It’s like God is giving me a taste how He sees the world. Seeing the world through the eyes of Source. This is my goal every day. To live my life on fire and full of love. To love and be kind to everyone. To demonstrate love in all that I do. And to wholeheartedly be filled with gratitude for the opportunity to create any kind of life I want, and to breathe, to see, to hear, to taste, to smell, to touch, and most of all, to FEEL my way towards constructing my dreams in this reality. 

There are so many beautiful souls who have come into my life, many who have gone, and many I haven’t even met yet. I am eternally grateful for this amazing life I’ve been given and I am focused on joyfully giving and using it to the fullest! And I wish that for everyone!

 

Tragedy and Attraction

Today began with a horrific accident. A shock after such a serene weekend.

I really spent all weekend plugged into Abraham-Hicks. Friday I mowed the entire yard while listening to Abraham-Hicks on my phone. It was a serene day. The yard, which is usually a hellacious job to mow with an old push mower, was easily completed and halfway through, our neighbors, Donnie and Geno (a hilarious pair) came over and tilled the rest of my garden for me! Things I’d wanted done for some time were completed with ease.

Saturday, as planned, my Jordan and I went to see the documentary, Beer Hunter, and enjoyed tasting beer from local brewers. I had set the intention to have a really fun, enjoyable day, which we did. Then for some reason (and no, not from drinking a lot, because I didn’t) all I wanted to do was sleep. So I slept a lot and spent a lot of time covered up in the recliner listening to Abraham-Hicks videos all evening. I went to bed, woke up early, and seemingly out of the blue, set an intention to return to church for the first time in a few months (We’ve been gone, busy, or exhausted every weekend for some time!) I got ready, and decided to listen to Abraham-Hicks on the way to church also. On the way there, I took note of how pretty the clouds were and as I listened to Abraham, I was reminded of Segment Intention, and I set the intention for a safe trip to church and a great morning of fellowship.

I was almost to my church, sitting at a stoplight in the turning lane, waiting to turn left onto 27th street, a relatively busy street, though not normally on Sunday morning. The light turned green and I hesitated, as I was not in a rush, just enjoying the morning drive, not a car in sight except for the one a ways behind me. I started to turn and stopped suddenly, not even making it out of the turning lane, as an SUV came barreling through the red light at the exact same moment that little car that was behind me entered the intersection. I sat in total shock, and disbelief as the SUV smashed into the driver’s side of the little car, crushing it like an accordion, and sliding for several feet before screeching to a halt, right before my very eyes. Had I not hesitated, that would’ve been me, because its just one of those intersections in which you can’t see oncoming traffic until you’re in the intersection. And if I’d been in a hurry, I would’ve turned right into the SUV’s path.

I immediately called 911 and realized,  as cars were lining up behind me, that I needed to go park somewhere. By the time I found a place to park and walked back to the scene, paramedics and police were already arriving. The SUV was barely damaged and the driver was on the sidewalk, doubled over, head in his hands. Rescue personnel were using the jaws of life to get the person in the little car out. I can’t even believe that person was alive.

Still shaking I gave my statement. One of two things happened–either the driver of the SUV didn’t see the light change, or sped up to try to race through a yellow light and didn’t make it.

But why did that happen? Why wasn’t it me? Was it because I set the intention to have a safe trip?

I don’t know. Abraham would probably say so.

It seems it’s not what you say or what you do that matters. It’s how you are vibrating that determines what is drawn to you. You can speak and do good things, but if you are vibrating at a low level, you are attracting things at that level. You can determine where you’re vibrating based on your emotional guidance system. How do you feel?

If you don’t feel good you’re out of alignment with Source.

This lead me to think about how important it is to understand and follow our emotional guidance system. It could save your life! I’ve heard stories, as I’m sure you have as well, of women who ignored their “gut instincts” and ended up being beaten or raped or worse. Well in understanding that we are vibrational beings in a vibrational world, and in understanding that our emotional guidance system is like a GPS directing us to the lives we want…not understanding could unwittingly cause us to steer our vibrational lives into a multitude of terrible, painful, even horrific circumstances that just so happen to be a vibrational match to us.

The negative emotion that I most often frequent is anger. I used to be extremely quick to anger and I used to stay in it for a long time. But now I understand, when I feel anger, I know I’m out of alignment with what my true self wants. So I ask myself, why am I angry, how do I want this to be? And then I either make a mental note of the things I really want or I  write it down. This is a very new practice, but it’s all part of the shift I’m making. What’s interesting is that when I get to the core of how I want things to be when I’m angry, I keep realizing that I’m never angry for the reason I think I am. When I thought I was mad at my partner or the dogs or someone else…it turns out there was something I wasn’t doing, or something I did that was in disagreement with my true self. When I’m irritated with the way something is, now I strive to pin point what that irritation is really about and change it. If it’s out of my immediate control, I set the intention of what I want, all the reasons I want it, and release it to the universe.

Abraham says that everything is really two things: what you want and what you don’t want. In order to get something you want, state that you want it and state all the reasons you want it. If you can do this without reverting back to thinking about what you don’t want or focusing on lack, then it will come, it has to.

Witnessing the wreck this morning did more than fill me with gratitude for my safety and my life, but it also reminded me that living out of alignment with Source can not only attract misery into one’s life, but it can be dangerous in that it may even bring an end to one’s life this time around. This bolstered my desire to really listen to my emotional guidance system and follow its directions all the way to realizing my dreams. I want to make this life count!

In closing, I want to send strong, powerful, positive energy and prayers to the two people involved in the wreck this morning. I read that AMAZINGLY no one in the accident retained life threatening injuries. I hope all is well with them and I hope that something good comes of this. That’s what Grace does, it makes beauty out of ugly things.

Pray: Poetry from the Maps Back Home Collection

I am putting together a collection of spiritually inspired poetry titled Maps Back Home. I wrote my first poem in 4th grade, which, to my surprise, granted me a trip to Graceland University’s Young Writer’s Conference. It was a great experience, but when I was urged the following year to go, I shut down. I was confronted by different teachers multiple times a day, every day, for a long, long time, and I have never appreciated being pressured. My natural response to pressure is RESIST! (A trait I share with my horses.) So I dug in  my heels and refused to go. I was never comfortable sharing my poetry to begin with, so from then on, every poem I wrote was secretly written, and rarely shared with close friends. Now, at the ripe old age of 30, I have reached a point in which I am not only comfortable sharing my poetry and art, but I’m excited to do so! Here is one of many poems from my new collection titled Pray.