Untangling and Uncovering a Mess of Desire

When it comes to pursuing desires, what many people, especially hardworking people, often forget to ask themselves is the simple question:

“Do I want to do it?”

And then follow that question up with:

“Does it feel fun?”

“Is it something I want to do or is it something I think I should do?

Does my heart sing in the idea of the beginning steps of it?”  

And if the answer is, “I don’t know,” then it’s too soon. Or if the answer is, “No, I’m doing it because I should,” then perhaps it isn’t the right thing to do. –Abraham

What I need to do is drop the oars and quit paddling up stream. I keep trying to sort of manhandle things in my life into place even though I know that doesn’t work. When I know what I want, I have no trouble focusing on what I want until I get it. I am a blank slate for the Universe to write instructions upon, which I obediently follow. Everything lines up effortlessly. But recently I  have acquired a seemingly random and seemingly incomplete jumble of desires. I want so badly to focus 1000% of my being into creating the life of my dreams, but I don’t know where to start or what to do with all these desires. Or at least I didn’t until I listened  to the above words of Abraham.

Oh to live out here with my amazing boyfriend, puppies, and horses *wistful sigh* ❤

Where I was confused and seeking clarity I asked myself those questions. It turns out the tangles were all things I think I should be doing. Not things I really want to do. Not things I really think will be fun. Not things that make my heart sing. What happens is, being the devoted Law of Attraction student I am, I read and read and read. I study, study, and study. I have a little success. I launch 1000 rockets of desire, because if there’s anything I’ve ever been good at since birth, it’s dreaming! Then I get antsy. I get anxious. Of the thousands of rockets of desire I’ve launched, there are a handful that are all-consuming desires. They are “big” from where I’m standing. And in no way do I have any idea how or where to begin moving towards these astronomical desires, but I want to move towards them and I want to move towards them LAST YEAR!

In my anxious impatience I began doing things to try to bang elements into place that I thought would lead me closer to some of things I desire. Shockingly (sarcasm) all the actions I have taken and all the banging around I’ve done, trying to find something productive to do to create these amazingly wonderful things I want so desperately, has not panned out.

I looove pine trees, and their bark. I love the smell of pine!

So what’s the answer? How do I manifest this “BIG” stuff?

Oh yeah. The ART OF ALLOWING. Yes, that. It’s so hard for a hardworking, action-oriented type of person to LET GO. But if I believe that I am a creator and that the way I create is by achieving a vibration that the Law of Attraction responds to, then shouldn’t EVERY EFFORT that I offer, hardworking person that I am, (or the majority of every effort that I offer) be about producing the emotion or the feeling and trusting that the rest will fill in, because it will? Umm…YES.

When I try to bang things into place with action, it’s like putting the cart before the horse. It’s like paddling upstream with all my might. It’s hard and it sucks and I don’t want to do it anymore.

Many people determine that they want to feel a certain way and then focus on an avenue that they think will get them there. But if they focused on creating the emotions or feelings, the feeling state of having what they desire, then a multitude of avenues would open up.  There is not one opportunity, there are many opportunities. There is not one path to what you desire, there are endless paths to all that you desire. –Abraham

But do you want to know what I really “got” today that was so huge?

I don’t even need a specific thing to desire.

Sit with that idea yourself for a while.

All I need to do is launch a powerful desire to feel good, just light that rocket of desire up, and get out of the way. Because what is behind every rocket of desire we launch? The belief that we will feel better in the having of it. What are we always, always, always wanting? To feel better. So pursuing feeling better, launching a powerful rocket of desire to feel good, raising oneself vibrationally…it’s like  a one-stop vibrational shop for everything wonderful you’ve ever wanted. You don’t have to work hard. You don’t. You really don’t. You just have to focus on feeling good, keeping your vibration up, and allowing the Universe to figure out EVERYTHING for you.

Looking up!

This is why it’s easier to manifest things you don’t care about. You love, appreciate, and desire something. You forget about it (allowing). And then all of a sudden, surprise, there it is, from an unexpected avenue, out of the blue. Honestly, it’s really fun to launch a desire for something, expect it to show up, and wait for that out of the blue moment when it seemingly falls out of the sky into your lap.

So I’m doing this with my art business, my love of Parelli Natural Horsemanship, my passion for studying the Law of Attraction, and my deep-seated desire to live in Pagosa Springs. I’m just going to focus on loving, appreciating, and enjoying these things. I’m going to focus on loving, appreciating, and enjoying myself. I’m going to focus on loving, appreciating, and enjoying everything I do. I’m dropping the oars and letting myself float with the flow of the Stream of Well-being.  I’m going to quit the exhausting efforts I’ve been making to try to figure things out (a sure sign you’re trying to push and bang things into place instead of allowing). I’m letting the Universe take the reins in my life and fully opening myself to endless possibility.

I surrender all to SOURCE.

The stream of Well-Being, I love the sound of water and feeling of being immersed in nature.

I’m tired of being tired and tired of that feeling of not being there yet. Of not reaching and fulfilling all of my potential. Of not living in the service of grand purpose. I’m tired of being out of alignment! All I want is now is to live as one with Source.

There is no longer anything I desire as deeply as a deep, unwavering and infinite state of peace and wellness, a  deep, unwavering and infinite state of love, and a deep, unwavering and infinite state of joy! I desire every life-giving, out-of-alignment warning signal of negative emotional resistance to be a blip on my radar as I bask in well-being 99% of the time. There is nothing I desire more than to be fully in the flow with Source. There is nothing I want more than flow with Source as Source fully utilizes all of my gifts and abilities to help others.

And so I give up all control. I give up trying to figure things out. And I invite Source to bring all I have ever desired and more in the most surprising and wonderful ways. 

Here we go!…

Universe, light my way, light up the path I’m to follow! Bring me home. Bring us home.

I Can’t Get it Wrong and I’ll Never Get it Done

I’ve been pondering these words of Abraham-Hicks.

I can’t get it wrong. I can’t get it wrong? 

I’ll never get it done. I’ll never get it done?

I have a tendency to become mentally (and therefore in every other way) paralyzed by not wanting to make the wrong decision. I become afraid to act for fear of doing something that might be wrong. Except the purpose of life is to explore the contrast, to see and experience things you don’t like so you can figure out what you do like–and pursue that. Therefore, you can’t get it wrong, because no matter what happens in any moment or any segment of life, it is an exploration of contrast and it’s the exploring process that is most important.

Do you go to a movie to get to the end of it? Do you go on vacation to get to the end of it?

Well then you shouldn’t be rushing to get to the end of some project or achieve this or that because “if I can just get this thing done” or “if I can just achieve this goal” or “if I can just…” “if I can just…” “if I can just…” THEN I’ll be happy. What makes life so delicious is that in each moment we can decipher what we don’t want and, therefore, what we do want. So there’s also nothing to fear! No matter what, you are going to have experiences that help you determine what you don’t and do want. And if you’re living life looking for all the things you like so you can take note, well… that’s a really different perspective isn’t it? If you’re looking for things you like so you can deliberately create them in your life later… well, that’s sort of a fun way to spend the day isn’t it? And what if you did that every day? Life would be predominately joyful wouldn’t it?

It’s simple, because…it’s simple. You can apply this to the most complicated of life experiences and this simple truth is inarguable. Sure not every day is going to be all baby kittens and rainbows. In fact some days you might find yourself in quite a kerfuffle. Some days you might find yourself in the depths of despair. But this is good in that the stronger you know what you don’t want, the more fervently you know what you do want. And you will for sure, so long as you live, be exploring “the contrast.”  It will never end. And thank goodness! Because dreams are born out of knowing what you want. And dreams, visions, have the ability to resurrect our thoughts and effect a shift of epic proportions in our lives if we let them!

DO NOT COMPARE where you are with where you’re DREAMING TO BE.

Ohhh  that one gets me less and less every day, but starting out it was my kryptonite. Nothing draws in doubt and negative thinking quite like losing focusing on what you want in comparing where you are now with where you dream to be. This is one of those things where I have to tell myself, “JUST STOP ALREADY, just don’t do that anymore.”

When you’re in alignment your dream feels DONE.

Step 1) You dream it.

Step 2) You think about what you want and all the reasons you want it. You cultivate all those feel good feelings about experiencing the dream in a way you can taste it, touch it, smell it, see it, lick it…

And now it’s DONE. The universe has said YES, the vibrational reality of your dream has been created, it’s done, it’s done, it’s done, it’s done.

Step 3) FORGET about it. You just have to kick back and allow the universe to bring it to you. Go to the beach. Go to a party. Go do something fun, something that makes you happy.

Happy~Appreciation~Happy~Appreciation

Keep growing THAT until you’re a vibrational match to your desires. Once you’re a vibrational match, whoosh, your dream manifests!

Easier said than done, I know. But it’s not so difficult to reach for a better feeling thought from wherever you are. And as you reach for a better feeling thought, you can feel around and find another. And gradually you can feel yourself shift. With practice I am really get good at this. I used to just feel SO STUCK in just feeling bad. Every day I’d consume enough coffee to kill a cow and still have no energy. One of the exciting things I’ve noticed as I’ve been practicing these “pivoting” exercises in which I reach for a better thought from  a not so good thought is that for the first time in my life…I have my own energy. All of a sudden I realized this past week that three days went by and I hadn’t had any caffeine. Equally miraculous, I had no headache either!

I’ve also experienced more effortless accomplishment. When I start getting those unsettling feelings of “I don’t want to clean that right now!” or “I don’t want to mow the lawn!” or “I don’t want to do this or that!” then I don’t. I stop. I sit down with my notebook dedicated to corresponding with myself and I write in two different colored pens. It seems stupid that this works so brilliantly for me, but it does. And once I get all my thoughts sorted out, not only is my resistance gone and my energy returned, but… I’ve been surprised to discover that I actually DO want to do the things I was resisting.

My biggest revelation:

It’s not about the thing, the chore, the anything… it’s about how I feel about it. I keep finding out I don’t dislike all the things I thought I disliked, the only thing I didn’t like was feeling bad! And so far it’s never been the chore that made me feel bad, it was something other. Something…maybe I don’t even know what knocked me out of alignment. But it doesn’t matter. Because now I know I can sit down and write/converse with my inner being and get myself feeling good again.

Second biggest revelation:

I had NO IDEA how many times a day I felt negative emotions and never realized this was feedback from my inner being that I was off course. I never realized how much my inner being was communicating to me through emotions. The more I tune into myself, the more I realize how many times throughout the day I experience things I don’t like and things I like and never take note. I never thought oooo that’s an unpleasant feeling, I don’t like that for these reasons…and then backed it up with, well what do I want? How would I do that differently, what feels good to me?

I NEVER realized how easily I took note of all the things I didn’t like and why I didn’t like them WITHOUT figuring out what I do like. Without figuring out what does feel good and right to me. Well no wonder I was so unhappy, look where my focus was, and for absolutely no reason!

Awakening is a beautiful thing! I wish it on everyone 🙂

Tragedy and Attraction

Today began with a horrific accident. A shock after such a serene weekend.

I really spent all weekend plugged into Abraham-Hicks. Friday I mowed the entire yard while listening to Abraham-Hicks on my phone. It was a serene day. The yard, which is usually a hellacious job to mow with an old push mower, was easily completed and halfway through, our neighbors, Donnie and Geno (a hilarious pair) came over and tilled the rest of my garden for me! Things I’d wanted done for some time were completed with ease.

Saturday, as planned, my Jordan and I went to see the documentary, Beer Hunter, and enjoyed tasting beer from local brewers. I had set the intention to have a really fun, enjoyable day, which we did. Then for some reason (and no, not from drinking a lot, because I didn’t) all I wanted to do was sleep. So I slept a lot and spent a lot of time covered up in the recliner listening to Abraham-Hicks videos all evening. I went to bed, woke up early, and seemingly out of the blue, set an intention to return to church for the first time in a few months (We’ve been gone, busy, or exhausted every weekend for some time!) I got ready, and decided to listen to Abraham-Hicks on the way to church also. On the way there, I took note of how pretty the clouds were and as I listened to Abraham, I was reminded of Segment Intention, and I set the intention for a safe trip to church and a great morning of fellowship.

I was almost to my church, sitting at a stoplight in the turning lane, waiting to turn left onto 27th street, a relatively busy street, though not normally on Sunday morning. The light turned green and I hesitated, as I was not in a rush, just enjoying the morning drive, not a car in sight except for the one a ways behind me. I started to turn and stopped suddenly, not even making it out of the turning lane, as an SUV came barreling through the red light at the exact same moment that little car that was behind me entered the intersection. I sat in total shock, and disbelief as the SUV smashed into the driver’s side of the little car, crushing it like an accordion, and sliding for several feet before screeching to a halt, right before my very eyes. Had I not hesitated, that would’ve been me, because its just one of those intersections in which you can’t see oncoming traffic until you’re in the intersection. And if I’d been in a hurry, I would’ve turned right into the SUV’s path.

I immediately called 911 and realized,  as cars were lining up behind me, that I needed to go park somewhere. By the time I found a place to park and walked back to the scene, paramedics and police were already arriving. The SUV was barely damaged and the driver was on the sidewalk, doubled over, head in his hands. Rescue personnel were using the jaws of life to get the person in the little car out. I can’t even believe that person was alive.

Still shaking I gave my statement. One of two things happened–either the driver of the SUV didn’t see the light change, or sped up to try to race through a yellow light and didn’t make it.

But why did that happen? Why wasn’t it me? Was it because I set the intention to have a safe trip?

I don’t know. Abraham would probably say so.

It seems it’s not what you say or what you do that matters. It’s how you are vibrating that determines what is drawn to you. You can speak and do good things, but if you are vibrating at a low level, you are attracting things at that level. You can determine where you’re vibrating based on your emotional guidance system. How do you feel?

If you don’t feel good you’re out of alignment with Source.

This lead me to think about how important it is to understand and follow our emotional guidance system. It could save your life! I’ve heard stories, as I’m sure you have as well, of women who ignored their “gut instincts” and ended up being beaten or raped or worse. Well in understanding that we are vibrational beings in a vibrational world, and in understanding that our emotional guidance system is like a GPS directing us to the lives we want…not understanding could unwittingly cause us to steer our vibrational lives into a multitude of terrible, painful, even horrific circumstances that just so happen to be a vibrational match to us.

The negative emotion that I most often frequent is anger. I used to be extremely quick to anger and I used to stay in it for a long time. But now I understand, when I feel anger, I know I’m out of alignment with what my true self wants. So I ask myself, why am I angry, how do I want this to be? And then I either make a mental note of the things I really want or I  write it down. This is a very new practice, but it’s all part of the shift I’m making. What’s interesting is that when I get to the core of how I want things to be when I’m angry, I keep realizing that I’m never angry for the reason I think I am. When I thought I was mad at my partner or the dogs or someone else…it turns out there was something I wasn’t doing, or something I did that was in disagreement with my true self. When I’m irritated with the way something is, now I strive to pin point what that irritation is really about and change it. If it’s out of my immediate control, I set the intention of what I want, all the reasons I want it, and release it to the universe.

Abraham says that everything is really two things: what you want and what you don’t want. In order to get something you want, state that you want it and state all the reasons you want it. If you can do this without reverting back to thinking about what you don’t want or focusing on lack, then it will come, it has to.

Witnessing the wreck this morning did more than fill me with gratitude for my safety and my life, but it also reminded me that living out of alignment with Source can not only attract misery into one’s life, but it can be dangerous in that it may even bring an end to one’s life this time around. This bolstered my desire to really listen to my emotional guidance system and follow its directions all the way to realizing my dreams. I want to make this life count!

In closing, I want to send strong, powerful, positive energy and prayers to the two people involved in the wreck this morning. I read that AMAZINGLY no one in the accident retained life threatening injuries. I hope all is well with them and I hope that something good comes of this. That’s what Grace does, it makes beauty out of ugly things.

What Negative Emotions Really Mean

Negative emotions mean one thing: disharmony with your authentic self. It’s your emotional guidance system saying HEY! You are out of alignment with Source, and therefore out of alignment with your soul’s wishes and desires. No exceptions. Negative emotion= out of alignment with source.

Source is LOVE. When you suffer, you aren’t in alignment, but you do have the opportunity to be broken open through pain. A Course in Miracles says you can learn through joy or you can learn through pain, your choice. Here in lies the importance of understanding the difference between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind, more importantly, as my last post states, that we spend about 5% of our day in our conscious mind and 95% of our day operating from our subconscious. THIS, this is how we unconciously choose SO. MUCH. SUFFERING.

While it’s important to follow your bliss and cultivate awakening through practicing staying conscious, being present, being here NOW…it’s also important to not look away from the suffering of your brothers and sisters in humanity. But we need to bear witness to the suffering through our conscious minds in order to not unconsciously join them in suffering. To bear witness to someone else’s pain and suffering is a Holy act, but the purpose is to be the light in the darkness, to bring the healing energy of love into the draining energy of despair, silently casting it out. However, until we are CONSCIOUS, until we are AWAKE in the now, bearing witness to the suffering of others may cultivate suffering in us, rather than heal the wounded. This is why it is so important to awaken and follow our bliss, to learn from joy, to live love, in order to most fully demonstrate love and help heal others. This world is dominated by fear and so it takes a disciplined mind to live love here.

So how do we stay disciplined? By using our emotional guidance system. Negative emotion means there’s a disharmony between the way we’re thinking and who we authentically are. It means somewhere, we’ve mentally gone off the tracks and we need to make a change in order to get that harmony back where we feel peace, love, and joy. I like understanding this, so when I feel bad, I know uh-oh, I need to do something to get back in alignment. But sometimes my negative emotions have gained so much momentum that its like trying to stop a runnaway freight train with no brakes. I know I CAN’T slow it down by saying “I Don’t Want To Feel This!!” but I CAN slow it down by stating how I DO want to feel and just taking some deep breaths. If I’ve really gained too much negative momentum, I just have to sleep on it, because while I’m sleeping, thought momentum stops. So I can say a prayer before bed and wake up to a new day, being sure to set my intentions for the day and spend at least 5 minutes with the Holy Spirit, which will ensure Source will be in charge of my thought forms throughout the day. We achieve so little because we have undisciplined minds. It’s time we change that!

Know that your negative emotions mean you are in disharmony with your true self and do your best to think thoughts that bring you joy. If you can’t think a joyful thought, state that you want to or even that you want to want to be joyful and ask Source (or whatever name you use for God) to help you. Ask for the cosmic companionship of angels to surround you, guide you, heal you, if that works for you. But whatever you do, get back in harmony with YOU. The world needs us to fulfill our purpose, but we can’t do so from a place of disalignment with our creator and our authentic, creative selves.

Sending healing peace and love to all!

**namaste**

What Negative Emotions Really Mean

Negative emotions mean one thing: disharmony with your authentic self. It’s your emotional guidance system saying HEY! You are out of alignment with Source, and therefore out of alignment with your soul’s wishes and desires. No exceptions. Negative emotion= out of alignment with source.

Source is LOVE. When you suffer, you aren’t in alignment, but you do have the opportunity to be broken open through pain. A Course in Miracles says you can learn through joy or you can learn through pain, your choice. Here in lies the importance of understanding the difference between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind, more importantly, as my last post states, that we spend about 5% of our day in our conscious mind and 95% of our day operating from our subconscious. THIS, this is how we unconciously choose SO. MUCH. SUFFERING.

While it’s important to follow your bliss and cultivate awakening through practicing staying conscious, being present, being here NOW…it’s also important to not look away from the suffering of your brothers and sisters in humanity. But we need to bear witness to the suffering through our conscious minds in order to not unconsciously join them in suffering. To bear witness to someone else’s pain and suffering is a Holy act, but the purpose is to be the light in the darkness, to bring the healing energy of love into the draining energy of despair, silently casting it out. However, until we are CONSCIOUS, until we are AWAKE in the now, bearing witness to the suffering of others may cultivate suffering in us, rather than heal the wounded. This is why it is so important to awaken and follow our bliss, to learn from joy, to live love, in order to most fully demonstrate love and help heal others. This world is dominated by fear and so it takes a disciplined mind to live love here.

So how do we stay disciplined? By using our emotional guidance system. Negative emotion means there’s a disharmony between the way we’re thinking and who we authentically are. It means somewhere, we’ve mentally gone off the tracks and we need to make a change in order to get that harmony back where we feel peace, love, and joy. I like understanding this, so when I feel bad, I know uh-oh, I need to do something to get back in alignment. But sometimes my negative emotions have gained so much momentum that its like trying to stop a runnaway freight train with no brakes. I know I CAN’T slow it down by saying “I Don’t Want To Feel This!!” but I CAN slow it down by stating how I DO want to feel and just taking some deep breaths. If I’ve really gained too much negative momentum, I just have to sleep on it, because while I’m sleeping, thought momentum stops. So I can say a prayer before bed and wake up to a new day, being sure to set my intentions for the day and spend at least 5 minutes with the Holy Spirit, which will ensure Source will be in charge of my thought forms throughout the day. We achieve so little because we have undisciplined minds. It’s time we change that!

Know that your negative emotions mean you are in disharmony with your true self and do your best to think thoughts that bring you joy. If you can’t think a joyful thought, state that you want to or even that you want to want to be joyful and ask Source (or whatever name you use for God) to help you. Ask for the cosmic companionship of angels to surround you, guide you, heal you, if that works for you. But whatever you do, get back in harmony with YOU. The world needs us to fulfill our purpose, but we can’t do so from a place of disalignment with our creator and our authentic, creative selves.

Sending healing peace and love to all!

**namaste**

What’s in a Thought?

Science has proven that we are not controlled by our genes. Its called epigenetics-

1. the study of the process by which genetic information is translated into the substance and behavior of an organism: specifically, the study of the way in which the expression of heritable traits is modified by environmental influences or other mechanisms without a change to the DNA sequence.

It is our beliefs, our perceptions, that determine what manifests in our lives. We determine our genetic expression based on how we perceive the world around us. We are the masters of our lives.

For example, 33% of people with the genes for cancer never develop cancer. Why? Lifestyle.

I think just about everyone has heard of the placebo effect in which people are given sugar pills, told they’re medicine, and recover from their ailment purely from the belief that they were receiving a powerful drug. But have you heard of the nocebo effect? It’s the reverse of the placebo effect, like getting bit by a non venomous snake, believing it was poisonous and dying. That’s a dramatic example, but that’s how powerful the mind is, it can create Heaven on earth or it can literally kill us. The nocebo effect is how we worry ourselves sick, it’s how stress creates illness in the body, and it’s something we all greatly need to understand in order to stay/become healthy!

BIOLOGY and THOUGHT

Thoughts give rise to emotions, which release different neurotransmitters, which in turn release different neurohormones, which all translate into changing the tissue culture medium, in other words the fluid that bathes your cells. How many cells do we have? 50 trillion or so, more than you could count to in a lifetime.

So every second, every thought is releasing different neurohormones that go into the fluid that bathes your cells, bind to the cell membrane, which sends a signal to  the nucleus of the cell, which can actually change the way the DNA makes proteins. This is where epigenetics come into play.

We have thousands and thousands of thoughts every day, and each is translated by your nervous system into a chemical response. It’s a simple thing.

THINK LOVE and GROW HEALTHY

If you close your eyes and open them to see someone you love before you, the thoughts and feelings of love you manifest in your head turns into chemistry and most people are very aware of this–when they’re so in love and they feel so in love, they’re so healthy.

A thought of love is translated by the brain into the release of some really wonderful hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, creating pleasure and growth hormones that cause cells to become really, really healthy. So when you SEE someone you love, you FEEL someone you love and the chemistry of love creates ultimate health!

Now if a person opens their eyes and sees something that scares them, they’re going to release whole different kind of chemistry in the body. Stress hormones and inflammatory cytokines are created and cause the cells to go into protection-mode and wall themselves off against a threat. These stress hormones create butterflies in the stomach, anxiety, nervousness, and in that process what you’re really feeling is a chemical reaction released by the brain–and this is altering our genetic activity. This is why it’s a fundamental fact that stress is the greatest cause of illness on the planet!

This is good news! We are not helpless victims of our genetics. We can achieve ultimate health and wellness through deliberate thinking. We were born to love. We were all genetically coded for stardom by living love, by following our bliss. When live anything else, we suffer. And it is self-made suffering. We aren’t victims of circumstance, we are only victims of our own thinking. Change your thoughts and change your life, even change your genetics! Banish fear-based thoughts by deleting them mentally and reinserting thoughts derived from love. Follow. Your. Bliss.

–This post is primarily the conversation that took place during the Hay House World Summit between Bruce H. Lipton, Phd. and Joan Borysenko

Healed by Piedra Falls

I spent yesterday in a total funk. Headache, backache, stomachache and mind in a total haze. I just couldn’t get myself out of it. I would say I don’t know where it came from, but all physical ailments are born in the mind, so somehow, I created this. Definitely not on purpose, but I’m too aware of my mind now to not know the connection between my physical issues and my thoughts.

In the weakened state of having reveled in many delicious beer samples at Beerfest in Omaha, the love of my life casually mentioned a potential job opening in South Dakota. In my fuzzy state, I lost hold of the security of all I know to be true about the Law of Attraction and my heart sank as my thoughts wandered to the idea of moving to South Dakota and the devastation of maybe having to move there other to the place of my dreams, Pagosa Springs, a dream so alive now, so real, and so close that I have literally reached out and touched it. My Piedra Falls photos brought me back to my joy.

My two boys hitting the trail to Piedra Falls.

The dogs took to the mountains like fish to water.

My boys 🙂

It’s quite the drop off directly to the right of the trail here.

Nice calves.

Piedra Falls!

It was SO loud!

It’s definitely a gusher as described on paper.

The water was ice cold and I got drenched trying to take photos up here!

I couldn’t keep the camera lens dry.

As I got closer I realized there were rainbows by the falls 🙂

Gorgeous!

Love this one.

The Piedra River at the base of the falls, beautiful.

I think allowing my mind to detour in that manner is what put me in such funk that it literally made every part of my body ache. And it’s silliness. I know I can create the life of my dreams. I know I don’t have to work against my soul goals. I know it, I know it, I know it, but as the teachings of Abraham say, the goal is to not constantly stay in the vortex, the journey is the goal. You have to experience what you don’t want in order to know for sure what you do want. It’s also become increasingly a struggle to not cling to Pagosa Springs, because I want it so bad and it’s been a struggle to not be concerned about what my partner is manifesting for himself in his thoughts as relates to the potential job and move. So I’ve been reminding myself to just bask in my dreams of living in Pagosa Springs and let go of everything else. The journey of expansion and learning through joy is the purpose of life. I just need to live in the moment, love where I am, and keep doing the work to open up space in our home for greater abundance and creativity. Keep creating the life I want each moment, even it’s practicing meditative breathing while I organize my kitchen cabinet in a beautiful and more functional manner. Keep creating the life I want each moment, practicing aligning myself with Source as I weed the gardens. Effortless accomplishment comes when you stay aligned with Source and that’s what I want for every part of my life. That’s not to say that it’s not hard work, but all work comes easier when your mind is in a state of peace, everything just flows.

So today is about reclaiming my sanity, reclaiming my dreams, reclaiming joy, and reclaiming my alignment with Source. Last night I fell asleep curled up in a strange position in the recliner, but it felt right, and I was determined to make today a better day. I eventually woke up from my strange, awkward position, went to bed, and woke up early to do yoga. I did an hour of yoga, took a refreshing shower, and went back to sleep for a few hours. Today has already proven to be a better day as I’ve spent the last few hours drinking chai tea and editing Colorado photos I took in Pagosa Springs a few weeks ago. I also perused the expanded Vision Board I made on Pinterest, which brought me great joy. Today is going to be a very creative day, it already is, and the effortless accomplishment will continue.

I still fall off the spiritual wagon from time to time, but I get back on much more quickly these days. The greater your spiritual practice becomes, the quicker it is to steal your mind back from the ego, let negative emotions fade into nothing, and return to that peaceful center. Back to work!

 

Making Room for Abundance and Answering the Call of the Universe

Life is simple. The ego is complex.

It’s so true that complexity is of the ego, but damn, sometimes it’s difficult to see through its mess. I am at a place in which I am totally clear about what I’m passionate about–Art and Parelli Natural Horsemanship–and where I want to live. However, I am not just me. I have a partner in life and I’ve wanted nothing but the best for him as well. I’ve wanted him to get where he wants to be with his career and resolved to go with him wherever his career took him. Personally, however, I have felt called to Pagosa Springs, Colorado since before I went there for the first time in 2009. And because I have been clear about what I desire for myself and my partner, Jordan, the universe, being both self-organizing and self-correcting, has presented an opportunity for the best of both worlds–Jordan just had an interview for a job in his field, in Pagosa Springs. We don’t yet know the results, but we are clear that this is something we both want very much and we’ve released the outcome. If it’s right and it’s in our best interest and the best interest of others, then it will be so. Regardless of the outcome, I know, as my favorite affirmation states, that the universe is conspiring in our favor. We shall soon see what that means for us now!

I just wanted to share this as it happens as both a student of the Law of Attraction and for other students of the Law of Attraction. I first wrote about this on April 5, 2013 in my post “The Law of Attraction: Manifesting Your Own Destiny”. I wrote what I had learned to date and that day I began creating a vision board, which I keep on my computer. I began studying the Law of Attraction and on my vision board I put lots of pictures of Parelli Natural Horsemanship, Pagosa Springs, horse disciplines I want to practice, money, and A Course in Miracles. Today is May 30th. May 17, 18, and 19 I was a volunteer at a Parelli Natural Horsemanship Horse and Soul tour stop and yesterday I just got back from Pagosa Springs, Colorado after spending a day basking in the beauty of the mountains, feeding my spirit with mountain wilderness, and after Jordan’s interview. We are most certainly powerful creators and I am a committed, driven student of the Law of Attraction now! I am an artist, but I think we are all creators, we are all creative, and we can (and should!!) all create our lives like an artist. I have big dreams of using art and Parelli Natural Horsemanship in spiritual teachings somehow, living in a massive log home outside Pagosa Springs, having acres and acres of pasture for my horses, and Jordan being able to have and explore all that he wants in life! I’m going to keep dreaming and expanding my vision board as I deepen my study of the Law of Attraction.

Road Trip!

Me just enjoying the ride.

Heading out of Denver!

Stormy skies outside Denver.

Entering some real mountains!

Higher elevations= snow in late May!

Gorgeous at sunset.

Brilliant.

Today I stumbled upon information about the Hay House World Summit coming up June 1st-10th and it’s free! I signed up, of course, and listened to the seven sample videos. The first video is a Wayne Dyer video titled “The Impossible Dream” about a woman who was raped and thrown off a cliff. She spent 22 years in a wheel chair and was walking for the first time. Wayne invited her up to the front and she told the story of how she discovered her rapist’s obituary, called his mother, and said she was so sorry about the loss of her son, told his mother who she was, and said she wanted her to know that she had forgiven her son. But when she first turned around, my eyes immediately went to the writing on her sweatshirt. It said “Colorado Rockies”. I was already tearing up from the story and then there’s Colorado again!

Beautiful canyon on the way to Piedra Falls.

The pupperoos enjoying the mountains!

Where we stopped for a picnic.

By the river.

Gorgeous.

Nature is healing.

Love the sound of the river!

Beautiful clear water and river rock!

Jackpot! I collected tons of small river rock for my tiki torch glass jugs!

Gracie in fetch mode!

From the second Wayne Dyer video, what I took from that is how much the universe is speaking to us in all these little ways that we only notice looking back. However, I think as our consciousness grows, we become aware of the signs much more quickly. Forgiveness was also the theme. The next video that really impacted me was Cheryl Richardson’s story about a client with a clutter problem. This client of hers had moved over a year ago and was still living in boxes and clutter. She absolutely could not unpack them. None of Cheryl’s first several ideas for her client solved the issue. Finally she closed her eyes and asked for help. What she got was, “tell her to light candles all around the boxes and ask them what’s going on.” It sounded crazy, but the woman did it and at first she got nothing, but she stuck with it and finally she got “in these boxes are notes for a book you deeply desire to write and these boxes will remain until the book is written.” The woman was instantly in tears and upon relaying this experience to Cheryl, Cheryl said well first and foremost, you need to write this book! She then helped her develop a writing plan.

I think we go through life with all these blocks, some under the surface, and some much larger and more significant. Since I have had trouble gaining any kind of momentum with creating art or getting my house or finances as clean and organized as I want, I realized that I have some major blocks and I don’t know what they are. So here’s a revolutionary idea. Why don’t I just get quiet and ask the universe what’s up? I have tea candles, why don’t I light them in a circle around my drop cloth and sit in the middle? Why don’t I hold that river rock I picked up and didn’t want to let go of in Pagosa Springs on Monday? So I did. I know I need to sit for longer. I definitely need more practice being still, being quiet, and listening. I think as a cultural whole, people of the Western world don’t listen very well. Esther Hicks used a quote from Abraham about a merry go round. She said sometimes things get too much momentum, like one of those merry go rounds that the kids already have going too fast, so when you try to jump on you just get thrown off. It’s all about the momentum. She said what she tries to do is get her positivity going with the momentum of the merry go round first thing in the morning so that anything negative trying to come into her life just bounces off. I like that! Things for me to practice.

So what did I learn inside my tea light circle? A couple of things came to me. First, forgiveness. I really need to do the work to wholeheartedly forgive and get any and all grievances banished from my system. Second I need to make room in my house for abundance. There needs to be a clearing of all things we do not need from this home. Third, I need to write and paint affirmations that heal me, not try to think about what others need. I need to write and create for me, because that is where my most divine creations come from. And that will be what others need for their own healing as well.

As an addition to the needing to forgive, I was writing an e-mail to a friend today and “accidentally” typed my ex’s name from not quite ten years ago. I instantly knew I needed to apologize for how I’d treated him in the past. I went on Facebook and sent him a message apologizing and congratulating him on getting married and having a lovely little girl.

Today is all about clearing, about forgiving everyone (with immense help from Source) who has ever done me harm or who I’ve had a grievance with, it’s about emptying the house of everything we don’t need, and it’s about writing affirmations for healing, abundance, and attracting into life the soul’s deepest desires.

Clearly the tea light sitting and conversing with the universe is a great thing. I’m going to try it before bed tonight and early, early in the  morning. It didn’t feel as clear at first as it became later, but I think if I do it for longer, the answers will be stronger, bigger, and crystal clear instantly. Basically, I suppose this is meditation, but I’m making it my own. I think meditation is one of the most powerful tools in the universe, if not THEE most powerful tool in the universe, for answering any and all questions, for solving any and all problems, and for finding healing, peace, serenity, and joy. It’s the best way to make that metaphysical reach through the veil. But meditation comes in million of forms and I think we need to tailor make our own meditation practices.

Until next time, Namaste!

Metamorphosis

This is one of my first attempts at adding my poetry to my photography. I’ve gotten much, much better now that I’ve had graphic design and discovered the freedom of Illustrator! So I love this poem and now that I know how to do all kinds of crazy things with text, I’m going to create a series of poetry-photography combinations. I do enjoy graphic work!

As the photograph isn’t incredibly easy to read, here is the poem in text form.

Metamorphosis

It’s never too late to change,

It’s never too late to heal those scars,

It’s never too late to realize,

What you have done is not is not who you are.

Learn from your pain,

And spread those beautiful lace-like wings,

You know better now,

Transform, rise up, and keep rising.

Release yourself from your past,

Become as weightless as a butterfly,

These delicate wings can’t carry,

All the sorrows of your life.

Let go and do better now,

Own the wisdom of this space,

That is accessible at every moment,

Through reception of God’s empowering Grace.

-J. Miriam